“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:16
Believers usually know we are called to “encourage one another” (1 Thes. 4:18; 5:11; Heb. 10:25 etc.). We certainly know we are supposed to “love one another” (John 13:34-35). But do we take seriously the commands in Scripture to exhort, reprove and admonish one another (Col. 1:28; Acts 20:31; 1 Cor. 4:14)?
As I journey with several people through the Christian 12 steps outlined in Celebrate Recovery, I am rediscovering the value of direct, personal accountability. Recovery programs make this an explicit requirement and overt responsibility of the one seeking growth – to find a sponsor. It is not the program administrator but the individual in recovery who must be proactive and persistent until he or she finds someone to coach and mentor, support and challenge him or her. Step 4 requires you to write down a detailed self-evaluation. Step 5 requires you to talk it over with your sponsor. There is no way to dance around these vital steps toward growth. You either do them or you don’t. (And 40% of people in recovery drop out at precisely this point.)
In our baseball diamond pathway I have thought of second base as involvement in a small group. But now I think that getting connected in a small group is the base-path leading toward second. Second base itself – Grow in Christ – is a courageous personal connection with one or two other believers who will admonish and exhort you, with Gospel-perspective and loving support, to face your issues and move forward.
Have you experienced the value of one or two close friends with whom you can share with total honesty, knowing they will still love and accept you but will push you to grow? As Larry Crabb wrote 20 years ago in Connecting, they will “see past the junk on the surface to the good person they know is underneath.” They will call out the good inside you and help you work through the sin and struggles.
A couple of weeks ago many of the men of Oakwood came together for a breakfast and heard me share my story and exhort them to move from the shadows of denial into the light of God’s grace. We cannot make progress if we hide behind excuses or blaming. Only when we courageously identify and share the truth of what we’re going through can the promise of Ephesians 5:14 be realized for us: “Arise, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
So here is my challenge for all of us at Oakwood. Find your 2-3-4. Get to work today, if you haven’t already, and find one or two people (your same gender) that you can encourage and admonish in the Lord. Find an accountability partner or a sponsor. Start meeting together. Share openly and honestly, bringing your issues into the light of God’s grace where you can experiencing healing and freedom. In time the Lord will bring other people to mind and your duo will become a trio. Pursue that. God’s grace is never meant to be collected forever in one place – it is always meant to be poured out. So invite a third person into your partnership. Before long a fourth will likely join.
Once you have four, multiply that into two sets of two and continue the process. Find a 2-3-4. This is our second base – helping people grow in Christ, making real, significant progress toward maturity in Him. We have many resources available to help you in this area. A Celebrate Recovery kit, including videos and student guides, lives in the church library and is available for anyone to use.
We also have Pastor Colin Smith’s Momentum study which is like an 8 week version of CR. We have an 8 week Bible study that goes through the Gospel of Mark, called Christianity Explored, that clearly establishes the Lordship of Christ and the basics of knowing and following Him. But all you really need is one friend and a Bible. Study Romans 8. Study Ephesians. Read and apply Colossians. Memorize the Word and follow the Spirit.
The elders, your small group leader and I are available to support you and guide you along the way. But resist delay. Start today – schedule that first meeting. I bet you already know the person you should call (or most likely text). What are you waiting for? Why isn’t your phone in your hand?