“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:24-25
At the center of God’s good creation was a man and a woman, united by God in the first marriage. This pair fully and beautifully reflected the image of God – in the loving harmony of their relationship, in how they managed the garden and cared for the animals. The union of one man and one woman for a lifetime is the primary institution on which civilization can be built. If marriages are healthy, then families can be healthy, kids will grow up loved and well trained and society will flourish.
The marriage union is like the hub of a wheel. If that central hub is solid and balanced the wheel will turn smoothly. But if that center point is damaged and bent, the wheel will bump and drag along. This is why divorce is so distressing to children, because it disrupts the center of their world, which is supposed to be their source of stability and direction. When relationships break down in marriage, there is a spiral effect into society that affects all relationships.
Is it any surprise then, that the devil deliberately and relentlessly attacks marriage? Should it surprise us that the secular agenda today is to question the institution of marriage and propose alternate structures, or the abandonment of traditional marriage altogether?
A Christian marriage is more than just an important component of a healthy society. It is a reflection of the love Jesus has for the Church.
“’Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:31-33
Your marriage is a window through which non-believers should be able to see the love of Christ. They should see steadfast faithfulness and sacrificial service from Christian husbands. They should see joyful submission and supportive partnership from Christian wives. They should see a relationship that overflows with love and respect – first to your children, and then to others around you.
How can we have such a healthy marriage? Well, it’s a piece of cake!
The foundation of a healthy marriage is the emotional intimacy that comes from trust and is built from permanent, unshakable commitment and time spent together. The center of a healthy marriage is the spiritual intimacy that comes from loving and respecting one another, letting God’s grace bind you together as you accept and forgive each other. And the icing on the cake is the physical intimacy that comes when you learn to enjoy one another.
Unfortunately, many couples struggle to maintain this kind of healthy relationship. Instead, they take spin after spin on “the Crazy Cycle.”
When a woman feels unloved, she tends to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. She gets critical, harsh, even condemning. A concern grows quickly into a complaint, then a criticism. And if an unloving pattern continues, all of that can begin to boil over in contempt for her husband.
But when a man feels disrespected, he naturally reacts in ways that do not feel loving to his wife. Some men shut down and go quiet. Others heat up and get loud. The first can become stonewalling, the latter can become abuse. Both send a clear and powerful message to the woman the she is not loved.
And so the cycle repeats and often escalates.
Until someone breaks the cycle. How? The only way to break this “crazy cycle” is for one of you to absorb the lack of respect or the lack of love and give what the other person needs rather than what you feel.
Who should make this move? “Whoever is more mature” (Emerson Eggerichs).
Watch The Crazy Cycle videos on RightNow Media to learn how to reverse this pattern and begin a new “Rewarded Cycle” in your marriage.
This Sunday (9/19/21) we will be reminded of the three gifts that God gives us in marriage. Come be reminded of the great blessing that marriage is meant to be. Give thanks for your husband or wife. And if you’re single, rejoice that all of these gifts are yours in Christ!
And don’t forget to sign up for our Marriage Night – Saturday, September 25, 2021!